What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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