today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize