i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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