Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
