All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
