new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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