It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
