Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
