We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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