I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
