i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
