Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
His nipple licking is glorious
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