as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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