Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
