i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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