Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
