Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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