You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
