the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
