yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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