YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
