When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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