Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
