Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
