i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
