farters have to be the big spoon...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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