I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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