Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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