By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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