i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
