i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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