i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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