I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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