She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
