am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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