So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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