i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
