one word: firstdatebathroomanal
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
