Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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