hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
