we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
