Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
