dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
