Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
