i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
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If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
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To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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