I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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