When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys