Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.