i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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