Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
