The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
