I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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