cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize