Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
