i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
there is puke in my bra ... again
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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