i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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