I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
