gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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