I'm really into asian looking animals
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
