You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You smell like stripper and shame
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
