Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
