Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
