i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
