mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
