mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I love black thongs
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So drunk its hurt
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Umm I'm too high to move.
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