Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
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Do I have a choice?
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Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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